Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
