he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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