Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
