it was like his penis was on wheels.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
