First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This couple is walking their pig around campus
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
