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my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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