I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
