He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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