I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
