It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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