I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
