come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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