You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
