We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
