What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
