Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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