I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
