Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
