absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
