i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
