somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
