he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
