Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
