I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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