i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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