I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
