Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
