I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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