Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
