he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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