Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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