Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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