yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
