Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
