I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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