Already got asked if we're dating
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
