Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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