i need an iv and a liver transplant
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
