If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
should my penis look like a turkey
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
