...so i touched it.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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