do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think I sprained my soul last night
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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