so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
