I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
