I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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