I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
