It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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