I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
