And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
