On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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