So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
