2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
