Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I enjoy the company of your penis
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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